Perhaps he was bullied, ridiculed or cast aside by his peers; maybe he was unable to meet the expectations of his parents or society. Very likely, he never truly felt unconditionally loved. He put up walls around himself, exercised great bravado and maybe even tried his hand at bullying his weaker brothers, just to have a taste of power. Mostly, he harbours a deep, paralyzing fear—
Regardless of your current spiritual affiliation, or lack thereof, you are likely to agree that our world is in dire need of change. The world appears to be a mess right now, but it only appears to be so because we are beginning to see what has been there all along. What we are seeing are the remnants of a tired, faulty way of being: a way of looking that sees differences, a way of thinking that keeps us separate from each other, a way of being that divides, separates and withholds love.
I sometimes point out to clients that the hardest part of being a parent is to know when to stop being a parent. Once a parent, always a parent; it’s not something you just turn off and walk away from. I don’t know if this is a universal experience among all mothers, and maybe even fathers, or if it is just for women raised in the 50s and 60s, or stay-at-home moms, or single moms. All I can say is there appears to be an involuntary reflex built into the mothering role that is triggered when a meeting with one of my children is imminent; note that my “children” are in their mid-30s, so, this mode is deeply rooted!